The Pied Piper lures you with his sweet tunes, and then promptly throws you off the cliff. The Devil first wounds you with his words, and then finishes you off with his knife. The Boxer doesn’t care much about social graces or talking pleasantly. He speaks whatever his mood dictates, though he has no intentions of harming you. And finally, you meet a few Angels, and wish why the world doesn’t have more of them!
We come across these 4 types of people in our lives and our workplaces. Its important to understand them and accordingly manage our relationships, for our own sanity and well-being.
How do you recognize the Pied Piper? They come dressed up as Angels, and can fool you easily. That’s why its necessary to discern whether you are up against a Pied Piper, or you genuinely have an Angel by your side.
One giveaway for Pied Pipers is the extra spoon of sugar they add to everything they speak. Bitter pills are often heavily sugarcoated to hide the bitterness.
Similarly, the Pied Piper’s pretentious nectarine words maybe concealing something harmful. The difference between a Pied Piper’s and an Angel’s speech is that you will sense an authenticity in the Angel’s words. There will be no attempt to conceal something by keeping up a pretence of sweetness. Of course, its only over time after various interactions that you can make a final decision about whether a person is a Pied Piper or an Angel.
Its most unfortunate if you come up against The Devil a.k.a a toxic person. Most often you have to sever the relationship. If it is not possible to completely sever it due to overlapping life / work areas, then you have to keep it strictly transactional – polite and succinct, dealing with the issue at hand, and getting through with it. Else, you are going to get sucked into it, and feel provoked to respond with toxicity. And that’s the worst!
The Devil can easily stoke and provoke the Devil within us – however tiny and subdued it might be. And yes, The Devil is inside us too. All 4 types are found within each of us, in varying degrees.
The Boxer does not mean to cause you severe harm, so he is not toxic. But, he can be irritating and frustrating because he keeps throwing punches. The best strategy is to stay out of his way when he is in heavy sparring mode. Don’t let him get on your nerves. Some degree of patience and tolerance is helpful, when there is some meaningful return you are deriving from this relationship. Very rarely, it maybe useful to smack him with a knock-out punch from your side, which will keep him toned down for a while.
And now the million dollar question – Can’t we change them and convert them all into Angels? The answer to this question lies in two apparently conflicting truths. 1) It is true that most people have a seed of goodness, conscience, and they often know what they are doing is right or wrong. 2) They find it extremely difficult to change the way their thinking and habits are wired, and hence continue to behave in unhealthy ways. It takes a lot of time and effort to bring about behavioural change in another person. It is wiser to be more discerning in your understanding of people, and manage your relationships appropriately for your own well-being.
I don’t want to leave you with such a pessimistic view of human nature. It is also true that someone who comes across as The Devil maybe giving funds to the neighbourhood orphanage to educate the children. Like I said, each of these 4 types are present within us too. Its even more important to understand which of these 4 types is predominant within us.
And, while some people are hard nuts to crack, it is also true that the more you nurture the Angel within yourself, the more likely you are to evoke the Angel within others. I will pen off on this optimistic note, and pray for the Angel inside me to emerge 🙂
Gulshan Walia – I am a Human Capital consultant and coach, and my main areas of work are leadership development, coaching, behavioural skill workshops, performance management and HR processes. Here is an overview of my coaching practice. Drop me a note at info@infinitzusconsulting.com if you are interested.
View my website at www.infinitzusconsulting.com to learn more about my areas of work
Gulshan Walia Blog 