We talk a lot about managing subordinates because that is an essential skill for leaders. But we don’t realise that managing upwards is also essential.

The power differential between leaders and subordinates gives bosses the leeway to harm subordinates. So we assume that there is really nothing that a subordinate can do to manage his relationship with the boss. But, that’s not true. There is an art of managing upwards, and it’s good to be skilled at it for your own effectiveness, as well as for the larger business interests.

Definitely, there are toxic bosses who really shouldn’t be given leadership roles. Keeping those extreme cases aside, we will talk about managing upwards.

The biggest error we make is expecting the boss to be a mighty mortal who is not supposed to make mistakes, and should be perfect in every way.

We think, well you’re sitting in that chair, so you better be perfect. Our expectations are extremely high, and if the boss falls short on any of them, we immediately downgrade our opinion of him. There is a constant evaluation of the boss that goes on in our minds. This puts immense stress on the boss who has to live up to our ideal image of a boss.

The truth is that the boss is also a mere mortal, a human being with flaws, fears, desires and emotions.

Help your boss succeed in his job. That’s the way you will become an asset to him. If you are constantly offering up resistance, you will get into a one-upmanship show which will never end. And most likely you will end up losing.

We need to cut bosses some slack for their human flaws. Once we do this and stop expecting them to be perfect, that’s when we create space for deeper understanding at a human to human level. Every single relationship is human to human. We first have to accept the other person’s humanity which is a mix of good and bad, and then proceed to develop the relationship.

Also note the difference between sycophancy and managing upwards.

Sycophancy emerges from a selfish and greedy mindset. There’s a lot of dishonesty in the relationship and you become a brainless yes man.

It’s only about what you can extract for yourself from this relationship. Managing upwards builds an honest relationship, where you use your own expertise and are able to have meaningful disagreements, instead of becoming a yes man. 

It’s about We, and not me. You want a genuine relationship where both of you add value. Of course, if you manage upwards well, you will receive the benefits. This is your part of the equation, and you can control it. The boss’s part of the equation is another matter.

Make managing upwards a priority, and hopefully things will become better for you.

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