We all have patterns of behaviour that define us, imprison us or liberate us. We need to be aware of these patterns to manage them. Examine the patterns in different spheres of your life.

Lets start with work patterns – Overall, have you been succeeding across different jobs / work? – there may be ups and downs, but you will still get an overall direction. If its an upward moving, positive pattern, then try strengthening it. If its an overall negative, downward pattern, then you need to analyse the causes:

– Have you had trouble with your boss in most of your jobs?
– Have you had trouble with sticking to deadlines? 
– Did you have trouble collaborating with team members? 
– Other problems?

This introspection is likely to reveal a theme or a common thread.

The point is that many times we feel that the problem is in this particular job, or my boss or colleagues. If we see the problem as outside of us, we seek the solution also outside of us.

We start thinking that changing the job is the solution (it may be the solution at times), but there are higher chances that there is a pattern of your own behaviour that is the problem.

Its either a personality trait or it’s something about you that evokes a common reaction in most people.

Similarly, with relationships. Professional or personal. If you find a negative pattern of difficult relationships, and think that your spouse or parent or sibling is the problem (again it may be true at times), but more likely it’s about who you are and your behavior.

Before jumping to a conclusion that the problem is outside of you, and hence the solution is outside, make sure you are aware of your own patterns. It is also possible that some of the people you interact with also have negative patterns, and then the problem gets doubled.

But you can change your own patterns. Think whether your patterns imprison you in a negative spiral, or lift and liberate you into a higher zone.

Very often we deny the existence of these patterns because we feel safe. We don’t even realise we are trapped in a self created prison.

There are prisoners who when released from jail, actually prefer to go back. Outside the prison they have to take responsibility for their own food and shelter. Inside the prison it’s all provided for. In exactly the same way many of us prefer to stay in the prison of our negative patterns.

The prison is very comfortable. Getting out of prison means facing uncertainty, taking responsibility for ourselves, and no longer being able to get away with excuses and blaming others. But remember you will have to pay a very heavy price to stay in the prison.

So, work to transform your negative patterns into positive ones, and lift your whole life to a higher, happier and more successful zone.

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Photo by Jake Nackos on Unsplash