Agree or disagree, there is always the other side of the story. 

The empty chair technique is a helpful tool to understand it. Keep an empty chair in front of you and imagine a person whom you have conflict with, sitting in the chair. Talk to him. Convert your frustration, anger, sorrow, pain into words and express yourself fully. You have to help the other person understand what you are going through, and make him see things through your eyes.

Having expressed yourself, you change places. You sit in the chair, and become the other person. Now express yourself as the other person. From his perspective, his point of view – all his struggles, frustrations, anger, sorrow and pain. 

When you transform the hotchpotch of thoughts into words and coherent sentences, you gain deeper insight and clarity into your struggle, as well as the other person’s struggle.

You are able to see the other person as a human with his desires, fears and sorrows. You become more open to looking at his wounds and his pain, and are able to empathise with him. This deeper understanding lays the foundation to reach a solution.

Not just external conflict, even inner conflict benefits from the empty chair technique. For e.g., when you are asked for a charity donation, the compassionate part of you may be in conflict with the prudent money saver within you. Have a conversation between both these aspects of yourself using the empty chair technique. You are bound to get some insights. 

Empty chair is also a great technique to plan out difficult conversations. These are conversations that you don’t really look forward to, or you expect some fireworks. But you know they are important. This technique will help you build up strength in your argument, at the same time enabling you to look at the person as a human being, instead of as an enemy. 

Practice this technique, and you will notice that it will reduce conflict in your life and improve relationships as well.

Reference:

Gestalt Therapy: The Empty Chair Technique

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