Behaviour = 70% Self + 30% Circumstances. No, I haven’t done any research to arrive at this conclusion. It’s a thumb rule I have come to believe in, based on my understanding of human behaviour. 

One could argue that it is 65/35 or 75/25 or 80/20. That’s ok, we are not focussing on exact numbers. We are looking at the insight the numbers give us – The Self (personality, character, motives, values, desires etc) has a bigger impact on behaviour than Circumstances. 

The 30% explains situations like a woman with no criminal record murdering a cruel, abusive husband. Or a usually calm and composed person bursting into rage after being fired. 

The 70% explains situations like the famous story of 2 brothers with an alcoholic father. One brother is a happy, successful, well adjusted man. The other is an alcoholic. When asked how each became what he is, they both replied “I had an alcoholic father, that’s why”.

There might be people who say that the percentage split is 100 / 0. To me that’s a person at a very high level of evolution, almost divine. He has risen above the dualities of life – happiness / sorrow, success/ failure. Nothing affects him as he has achieved Sambuddhi (equanimity) as described in the Bhagwat Gita. 

Unfortunately, most of us regular folks will have our minds running in all directions. 

The learnings that stand out here are

  1. “Who you are” has the potential to triumph “What happens to you”. Strengthen your Self to cope better with life’s challenges
  2. Introspect into your behaviour and differentiate which part was due to your Self, and which was due to Circumstances. Double check whatever you attribute to circumstances – was there any way you could have controlled it?
  3. Use the 70/30 rule when attempting to understand other people’s behaviour

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Image by Gustavo Ferreira Gustavo from Pixabay