“There’s a pigeon trapped in a net”, along with its photo. This was the message on my residential society’s Whatsapp group at 8:30 p.m. I spoke to the neighbour who sent it and she told me that it was outside her neighbour’s window. Through her bedroom window, I saw that the pigeon was badly stuck in a tangle of pigeon net, under an air-conditioner.

She said that her neighbour was a gentleman from another country. Let’s call him A. She had already called the security guard, who said they would deal with it the next day.

She sounded sad and hopeless, as the pigeon would die if it was not rescued. I requested her to make one more attempt along with me.

Both of us rang A’s doorbell. He opened the door and as I tried to explain the situation, he said it will be done the following day. I still requested him to cut through the net, hoping that the pigeon would be freed. He did that and we thought it was sorted. But when we looked out our window, the pigeon was still stuck.

Now we started making assumptions — “He didn’t do it purposely”. “He’s from a country where they eat a large variety of animals, and is frustrated with us since we are making a big fuss about a pigeon”.

Thankfully, we let all these thoughts just hang in our minds, instead of believing them. We rang his doorbell again. I pleaded with him to let me check it out for myself.

Not only did he welcome us in, he also helped us as we hung out of the window to untangle the net. The pigeon net was destroyed as we cut it through. He let us take all the time we needed, and was very happy when we finally released the pigeon. He wasn’t even worried about the cost of the net, and said he would replace it.

When I reflected on this situation, 3 life lessons were reinforced for me:

1. PERSPECTIVE — A was unable to see the pigeon and the tangled net from his window, as it was hidden under the air-conditioner. However, we could see it from the adjacent window. So, there was a mismatch between our perspective and A’s perspective.

We had to make the effort to explain our perspective to him, and get him to see things the way we saw them. Had we fallen prey to our assumptions, an innocent animal would have died.

Holding back on assumptions, premature conclusions, and making a patient effort to help the other person see your point of view, reduces the chances of misunderstanding and botch-ups. And the other way round too — listening to understand the other person’s perspective.

This is a lesson that life teaches me every other day, probably because it is so difficult to practice.

2. PUSH THE BOUNDARIES — We could have given up after A told us he had cut the net and it was sorted. We were hesitant to ring his doorbell again, as we assumed he would be angry. But, there was a life at stake, so we persisted.

Sometimes, the result is just an inch away and all you need to do is push your boundaries.

3. MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS — We were quite stressed about the situation, especially because my neighbour’s teenage son had been begging her to rescue the pigeon, and she was feeling helpless.

Yet, we didn’t lose our calm, and did not operate from our assumptions or premature conclusions. We realised that the best way to get through is to make A an ally in the process, instead of alienating him.

I write this because we read and learn life lessons every day, but when crisis hits, we forget everything.

The 1st priority in crisis is to calm ourselves down, and not let extreme emotions like fear or anger hijack us. Work to “choose a response”, instead of a default reaction that your emotions thrust upon you. Try practicing this and half your battle is already won!