Ego thrives on duality, differences and separation. It needs an “Other” for its survival. It is me versus you. It is my relationship with Others.

Self-respect needs no duality. It’s about the Self. It’s how I feel about myself. It is my relationship with myself.

The Self / Other dichotomy in our minds decides the level of our ego. The sharper the distinction between Me and You, the greater is our ego. A dysfunctionally high ego indicates a poor understanding of interdependence. It reflects a person who cannot step up to “We”. He’s stuck forever in the You-Me conflict.

Self-respect is the healthy amount of ego needed to protect yourself, and maintain your honour & dignity. The moment it becomes about seeking dominance and power for its own sake, it crosses the line and becomes ego.

Remember, a high level of ego will shrink and limit you. The constant You-Me conflict that you create will separate you from people. You will not be enriched by synergies which will add to you. Instead, you will be reduced.

The lesser the Self / Other dichotomy in your mind, the more you are able to expand yourself by including and accepting others. That is what will help you evolve and perform at the level of Interdependence – the highest reality of human relationships.

Self Reflection
1. Are you constantly comparing yourself with others, looking for ways to feel superior? Do you have a high Self/Other dichotomy or is it healthy?

2. Do you have a big ego or is it self-respect? Look at your relationships. What is the pattern? Do they keep coming apart or are they healthy and meaningful? The answer to this question may help you assess your levels of ego and self-respect.

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